Are empaths affected by the moon?



Today’s word is FUSSY. My clothes feel constricting, lights are too bright, and things can’t be fast enough today.

As empaths and sensitives, we know we are very affected by the energies surrounding us. We know when the air is too cold, or someone’s mood has just hit fiery before he realizes it, or when the overall mood theme for the day on Facebook is FRANTIC. Like little caterpillars we feel out the environment with our exposed feelers.

So if we have a full moon happening, and especially a lunar eclipse, do we feel the effects of that energy?

Years and years ago, there was a lunar eclipse followed by a solar eclipse, and my body went haywire. I was releasing a ton and have all kinds of weird symptoms, but was it the planetary action or what I was experiencing in my life at the time?

As women, our bodies are tuned into the moon through our cycles. And many who are not longer experiencing cycles still feel the effect of the moon. If the moon is more feminine then both male and female can relate when it is speaking, right?

I looked to the experts for my answers. The astrologers talk of this upcoming lunar eclipse and the many changes that will affect us.

Magical Recipes Online talks about the Druid Willow Moon.  That name in itself sounds so imaginative and magical!

My friend Julia talks about the astrological overall themes we are feeling right now during this moon phase.

Several metaphysical astrology sites talk of huge emotional impacts this lunar eclipse will have. Hmmmmmm.

  • According to NBC news, full moons can give us restless sleep. Link is over here.
  • And over at this Australian news site, full moons and eclipses can cause mood swings. Feel like howling at the moon?
  • Wikipedia coins the phrase “lunar effect” and says there is even a “lunar lunacy.” Nice! Now we have an excuse to go a little crazy.

As sensitives and empaths, we can swing past the research and go right to how we feel in this moment. I know when there is a full moon I do have a hard time sleeping, partly because the moon is shining so brightly into my window, and being so sensitive, I can feel it. I like a dark room when I sleep.

Perhaps we are picking up all the beliefs about the moon, and that collective unconscious is affecting what we think, influencing our thoughts. Regardless, I am fussy. I am restless. And I have this overwhelming urge to dance under the moonlight, ditch these restrictive clothes, and howl. Please don’t tell my neighbors. Now I have an excuse for my craziness. I have Lunar Lunacy. ;)

Categories: being sensitive, empath, Empath skills, empaths, sensitivity | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Understanding Empathy and Letting Go

bun bun

From FIELD OF DREAMS: “Ease his pain.”

Like many of you, I wake up in the morning, fresh from dreaming, bringing back some kind of message or understanding. The lesson downloaded into my brain this morning was about empathy.

What is empathy anyway? Most of us would define it as feeling what another person is feeling, relating, and being able to step into their shoes. You feel the sadness and relate when someone posts on Facebook about saying goodbye the last time to their beloved dog. Your heart hurts for them. You feel when your friend is sick and want to make her better. You watch the devastation on television of those who have lost their homes in a tornado and your gut aches for what they are going through.

There is different levels of empathy–how much it is turned on. When I was in high school, I remember feeling so much pain in middle school that I learned feeling was a not a safe thing. I shut that part of me off. I stayed on the surface. It wasn’t gone; it came out in stomach aches.

There are folks who are very extroverted who only feel their own space and don’t always feel the space of others. They have empathy, it’s in there, they are just more focused inward.

There are folks who read this blog who are Empaths. We feel everything. The empathy button is on so strong it can be overwhelming and debilitating. We feel times a hundred. That’s why sometimes it shuts off and we numb over or we couldn’t function.

There are many closet sensitives out there who appear un-feeling who are really our fellow brethren who felt way too much at some time and were seriously hurt, and so they can’t feel anymore. It isn’t safe to.

Then there are folks out there who have no empathy. They came in for special purposes, some of them, and perhaps, feelings would get in the way of that mission. They don’t feel when you are hurt. They don’t see how their actions affect others. They don’t hurt when others hurt because they don’t know how. The parts of the brain that feels that is broken. They live a different life. Do we have empathy for them? Maybe we can just understand what’s missing and see them differently.

I watch empathy in my dogs. If I am crying, they can feel my sadness, and will rush over and try to comfort me. It goes beyond instinct.

In my life right now, I am being asked to live at a deeper level of empathy, to put my feelings aside, for what is best for another. My little family lost a member the other day. Bun-Bun, my parakeet of almost nine years died suddenly. Before she died she had communicated very strongly that she missed Prosperity who had crossed over in September. She loved us but her body was starting to slow down and her heart ached for her companion. I’m being asked to look beyond my selfishness of wanting her to be here–to hear her beautiful little song-y chit chat throughout my day and having her companionship–and to honor her wishes. In this situation, I need to step into her spirit feet, feel her happiness and joy now of being reunited, and honor what she wanted and what is best for her first. It’s here where my empathy is a gift I can give her.

Categories: being sensitive, empath, Empath skills, empaths | Tags: , , , , , ,

Ask the Empath 1/20


Here at The Designing Fairy, I often receive questions concerning being intuitive that folks are scared or puzzled about. This is the beginning of a series where you can ask questions about your psychic abilities, and I will attempt to help and answer. I’ll be answering from my own experiences, and if I don’t have the information or answers, I’ll do a little research and find out.

The question

“Sarah” shares that she is beginning to pick up what feels like spirits in the room. She’s scared and confused and wants to know what is “wrong” with her.

The answer

Dear Sarah,

Sounds like you are an empath who has abilities in being aware of the energies around you. It’s like your “Spidey” sense. I liken psychic ability to playing the piano. Everyone can push a few random keys and make music. Not everyone becomes a concert pianist. Everyone has intuitive abilities. It’s to what degree and how much, and how turned on it is.

With feeling or noticing spirits, you have some mediumship abilities. You are just seeing what is there, but not noticeable to everyone. You can “tune in” to spirits by striking up some conversation or simply tune in and see what images or information receive. But always do so with boundaries. Just like you would be cautious letting anyone into your home, you would do the same with your personal, psychic space.

The more you talk to people who have similar abilities, and the more control you feel over them, the less fearful you will be.

Hope that helps!

Fairy blessings,


If you have a question, feel free to fill out my Contact Form


Categories: ask the empath, being sensitive, empath, Empath skills, empaths | Tags: ,

Help for the Holidays excerpt

This is a crazy time for a sensitive person. The energy out there alone is a little on the wonky side. So, here’s a little tip from my eBook, Help for the Holidays if you are Sensitive. 

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 10.18.40 AM


Need the ebook? Here’s a link.

Categories: being sensitive, empath, empaths

The wrong direction — how do you know?


December is a wrap-up time. It’s a time of looking at the year you’ve just gone through and sizing up and determining which way to go next. How do you do that with all the choices and opportunities? It can be overwhelming. As someone who is very empathic, I have a built-in radar system that I often curse at and ignore, which, I should be making friends with.

What’s this radar, you ask?

How I feel, especially in my body.

Now I can be slow in the intake, but the situation is improving. The time between getting upset/having an emotional or physical reaction and figuring out that I am upset has shortened. Gone is the time when I’d feel horrible for several days, even weeks, and not know why, because I am now finally noticing with the help of this tool which I will now share with you.

I was faced with a decision over the weekend when an opportunity presented itself. It sounded good and glossy and enticing, but the rest of the day THE MOOD hit. Now, sometimes THE MOOD is one of those empathic “picking up someone else’s shit and I’m carrying around not realizing it is not mine and yet I’m feeling it” kind of moods. I tuned in, and asked this time around, and got a NO from my body that this wasn’t the case.

I explored THE MOOD. I am not a big time fan of this time of year, so there was a little of that melancholy thrown in that I acknowledged. Having experienced many losses this year, I knew that grief was lingering around and was part of what I was feeling. A good cry was needed which I indulged in by watching a sappy movie, but THE MOOD persisted. What was going on?!

A big thank you to my good friends who helped me realize that I was considering go down the wrong way by possibly accepting the opportunity I was presented with. My body was letting me know that opportunity was not aligned with me! It was the wrong fit. Yes, logical mind had a ton of reasons why this choice was a good one. I’d get out of my comfort zone, tackle doing things I wasn’t good at but could be good at. I’d meet new people, and the choice would eventually lead to the direction I wanted to go, maybe. Logical mind is very good at molding me and squooshing me into boxes. But I am a soul that likes to break out of boxes. Body, on the other hand, has a direct line to my inner, empathic radar. It just reacts and lets me know: “Ronni, what the f(*%K are you doing, Girl?” Unlike logical mind, the body knows the simple answers to these questions: will this choice really make me happy? Is this a JOYFUL choice for me? Is it right for me?

We have all had experiences in our lives where we made a choice from logical mind because it looked really good on paper. How did those work out for you? Looking back, I haven’t had one that did.

Thank God and my body for THE MOOD that day. It quickly went away when I acknowledged I was compromising and heading in the wrong direction. (Another good clue). Further insight, and I realized that choice actually would have had me going backwards, not forward. (And that was a really good insight).

So look at your ‘symptoms’ differently today. That stomach ache you keep getting around a certain relative? Don’t curse it, understand what it’s saying. That persistant cold you have every Monday morning you have to go to work? Listen. When THE MOOD hits, don’t berate yourself for being too emotional. And when we bitch and complain we have no guidance and are abandoned, look again in your own backyard! Literally, your own backyard. Your body as your backyard? Get it? Oh, never mind. Just pay attention.

Oh, and incidentally, sometimes the body is saying YES to something that seems totally crazy and illogical, but is a fabulous great decision or the right road to pursue. I felt that way adopting my newest dog family member and going back to school. I’m so glad I listened.


Be sure to check out my book Help! I’m Sensitive and new book on animal communication, Speak Woof and Meow. And for further tips and tools for being sensitive, sign up for the January session of the EMPATH SKILLS ONLINE CLASS. And one more, keep your eyes on the lookout for my new book, YOUR TURTLE SHELL.

Categories: being sensitive, empath, empath mentoring, Empath skills, empaths, sensitivity, spiritual guidance, spiritual lessons | Tags: , , ,

Reminder: November core classes start November 22nd

a heads-up: my most popular classes start November 22nd, Friday, in Fairy Online School

Empathic? Sensitive? You know that you pick up feelings and information and have this ability, but don’t know how to control it for good? This class will help you learn how to focus on reading energy, be aware of psychic boundaries, keep out what you don’t want, and  become aware of this amazing gift you have instead of seeing it as out of control sensitivity! CLICK HERE FOR MORE.

For the Nature Lovers and More:

fairy healing header

In this wonderful class, you will learn the Ten FAIRY SECRETS as given to me by the Nature Spirits: Fun, short lessons, easy to digest information with creative pictures to inspire you and a fun homework. Be introduced to this fun, joyful fairy energy and have simple, non-toxic nature tools to grab for to help heal yourself and your animals. CLICK HERE FOR MORE.


  • (AM101) Animal Mediumship

Losing an animal companion can be the hardest thing to experience. I know! In this online class, I share ways to know and connect to the spirit of your animal that you have lost, that I have learned as an animal communicator, to continue that connection.  CLICK HERE FOR MORE.


  • (TAD101) Talking To Angels, Guides and Dead People

Picking up on spirits nearby? Want a better connection to your helpers and Guides in the spiritual realm to feel more guided and supported? Is your empathic skill being able to connect to spirit but you need some help controlling it? Fun, information-loaded and visually pleasing online class. click here for more info

Categories: empaths, fairy lessons

Shiny Object Syndrome



I’ve been trying to learn this one video editing program. Trying, may not be the correct word. It’s been a little like writer’s block where you take out the pencil and pen, the paper, organize your work space, but no words are flowing. I’ve set up my work space, have the video class all ready to go on the screen, but all of a sudden there seems to all these distractions! There’s friends to chat with on Facebook, which I love to do anyway. The girls are getting a little nutsy in the front yard so I need to supervise. There’s that pie in the frig that has been calling me for three days. And gosh, would you look at that, I still haven’t learned one lesson on that video. What is wrong with me?

It’s called Shiny Object Syndrome. There’s no pill or support group but it’s so common among creative and sensitive people. We like colors, and shiny things, and less tangible things like new knowledge and insights. Throw in the empathic thing and we are drawn into others’ stories feeling their sadness, their pain, their losses.

Empathic folks take in a great deal of information at once. We don’t just see the chair over there. We see the peeling paint, the yellow peeking through the wood, and we notice the seat cushion could use some sewing. Every now and then I often wish I could be shallow and only see that surface!

I wondered the other day if maybe I have Adult ADD and not Shiny Object Syndrome. And in a flurry of worry, I did some research to rule it out.

So I took the quiz I found over at Psych Central. Okay, that test isn’t so helpful. I know I’m hyperactive sometimes, but I think that’s inherited energy from my grandmother, and part of my nervous nature. And I can definitely concentrate and stick to a project once I do start. I also have my deeply lazy moments, although my head rarely shuts off. I read the 15 Signs You May Have Adult ADHD, and it’s not fitting me. Elaine Aron’s brilliant self test fits me to a T. I already know I can be a sensation-seeking sensitive, as she calls it. So, I conclude after all this research, it is a big part of my sensitivity.

How do you cure the Shiny Object Syndrome then? I would think you don’t! Why would you want to? I am finding that there is a gift there. Without it, I’d be a dull workaholic. I wouldn’t take breaks or have a full life with friends, and beauty, giant puppy playing, and rose smelling. Perhaps, then, Shiny Object Syndrome shows up just when we need it for that balance. Because maybe I just needed a little break before I dive into my video learning.


For more tips, check out my book HELP! I’M SENSITIVE, online classes EMPATHIC SKILLS & CARE OF THE SENSITIVE. I am busy at work on the sequel book, YOUR TURTLE SHELL.

Categories: being sensitive, empath, empath class, Empath skills, empaths | Tags: , , ,

Reminder: Fairy Online School Session Starts Friday!

September Offerings Start September 20th :

For the Sensitive and the Empath:

For the Nature/Fairy Lover:


For developing your intuition:

Classes include personal or group Schoology course page, once a week instructor check-in, fun links and add-ons, cool illustrated lessons and fun homework! Go sign up for the September Fall Session!

Categories: after death communication, Animal Communication, Empath skills, empaths, fairy lessons, fairy online school excerpts, Intuition, lessons from the fairy, online courses, online fairy class, spiritual lessons, spirituality, storytelling, teaching videos

Using your story

I love stories. I especially like how stories can help other people heal, learn and grow, or to be uplifted. We need our stories. That was a big reason why I went back to Graduate School, to learn how to technically create visual stories that teach in all the ways you can reach people.  

I am often pulled into other people’s stories, being so sensitive. I have a tough problem with the Facebook Feed often. I get pulled into stories of death, illness, misfortune and pain, and my heart opens so much I can feel it like it is my own, which I know, most of you can relate to. I can’t look at a photo of a dog being mistreated even if it’s to promote a good cause. Those animal communication skills just plug right in and it’s painful. I want to run right into that photo and save the dog, or the pig, or the cow!!! I hear about grief or loss, and I feel and understand their pain. And yes, I create strong boundaries as an Empath to protect me. But I am learning, a really big lesson, that this is about Responsibility.

I’m over-responsible, most sensitive folks are. But just because I can feel your pain and your hurt spots, doesn’t mean I’m the one to fix it. I really want to, but I can’t. I use to carry everyone’s pain and my old role long ago was to be the one willingly to be the “dumpee.” I will hold your pain. Being so strong, I knew I could do it.  As I’ve been in this new role for a long time of not being the one that carries and the “dumpee,” I can clearly look at why I was willing to be in this role.

I’m thinking as a sensitive, little young empath I felt the pain of those I loved the most around me and I sure didn’t want them to feel that. I wanted to make it better. As a child, I probably theorized that since the world revolved around me, which we learn that children at that age think, it was my problem or issue to do something about it. As an adult, I’ve learned it’s not compassionate for me to do this. Not only do I take away other people’s lessons to learn, but their healing to come out from it. And they aren’t getting a chance to be accountable to their own responsibilities either. As healers or teachers we can’t do the healing. I’ve also managed to allow abuse to come at me and be treated horribly, which would definitely come under self-abuse. Ironically, why was I not okay with seeing others suffer, but it was just fine for me to suffer and carry all that pain?

I did a web search today on my first book as I worked on my marketing, as I prepare to share my second book. And I had a wonderful, deep cry. The good kind. I read about a beautiful soul’s sharing how my book helped her and her story to feel not alone in her journey. Finding this, was what it is all about.  And reading her story and her reflecting back to me my words that I needed to hear today, the gift came back to me full circle. Thank you!

Now, looking back, I see that I really have transformed my role. I don’t have to be the “dumpee,” or hold other people’s pain for them, and I definitely don’t have to make it better, even though it still really hurts to see anyone suffer or be in pain. It’s not my job to fix it or for it to be okay for someone to be abusive towards me for any reason. And I am not responsible for things I didn’t do–that’s not my story.

A couple of weeks back, I was really angry at being dumped at unfairly and at the injustices in the world, and I went into a dark, angry place. I wanted to be heard which is good, but that anger only polluted inside me and made me something I’m not, nor want to be.  It didn’t affect the world around me I was angry at, and I didn’t want to become abusive either. I always want to achieve to understand.

But now I can share what I have learned and healed in my story, always with the intent to be kind and to help, so another can heal too, and that’s a much better, happier/healthier role for me to be in.

(Ah, now to to teach this to my very empathic dog :) )

fairywithoutorange with name

Categories: being sensitive, Empath skills, empaths, spiritual lessons, storytelling

Twitter anger update and being treated well

Screen Shot 2013-06-21 at 10.03.42 AMI am learning…

Happy to report that since I expressed my upset on Social Media with how I had been treated with Customer Service at Verizon, I received a phonecall from Verizon trying to remedy the problem! Ed, my new customer service rep, was in contrast, very kind and helpful. He explained to me that he tries to put himself in the customer’s shoes and how he/she would see things. I attracted another empath! Unlike the first rep who was very shaming and assumed I did something “wrong,” he was very understanding. He corrected the problem.

This whole experience has shown me how far I’ve come in how I want to be treated in the world. A part of me would get lost in that shame space even if I had done nothing wrong, so I probably accepted that behavior in the past. (Perhaps because as a sensitive, I am very over-responsible.)

The Bad Little Girl Syndrome

I remember a year ago or so taking Emma to the old veterinarian who was excellent in knowledge but known for her cold approach. She shamed me for going to another veterinarian and even the holistic vet prior to her. She frowned at me and said kangaroo dog food would be the only food option we had and if I didn’t take her suggestion I was “wrong.” And then I was shamed at the reception counter when I complained of the extra charges that were added that I was unaware of.

I went home that day feeling like the little girl who forgot to do her chores and was punished. I had one hell of a migraine that night.

My entire adoptive parenting experience was about dealing with folks who didn’t hear me and shamed me for what they felt I “should have” done. I was treated horribly by the child, and most everyone involved, and that’s an understatement.

But obviously something huge had shifted this time around.

I found the new veterinarian and when Sarah was gravely ill, I had TWO wonderful veterinarians (including her holistic vet) aiding her in her care and HEARING me. I was told “you are doing a great job.” I had all the support on all levels I needed to take care of her in the end.

Big chunks of my life broke away where I wasn’t getting my needs met or heard. I broke away from organizations that didn’t hear me at all.  This time around when I ask for help or assistance, it’s there and it’s excellent support.

I attracted a part time job I love to do that feeds me in every way and I’m told “Just keep doing what you are doing. We love it.” What a change!

You won’t go backwards

And then there was Ed to show me this. Some folks say that the Universe gives you tests. In this case, I got a little taste of what I used to experience. I needed to stand my ground and ask for the new energy where I am now comfortable living at, and by doing so, it gave me confidence I won’t have to have those negative experiences anymore now that I had the new game plan or map for how I want my life to be like.

fairywithoutorange with name

Categories: empaths, spiritual lessons | Tags: , , ,

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