Oh, what a tangled web we weave. We"ve certainly come to realize that a number of the gossip bombs on our favorite teen moms that have recently been dropped have their origins in this episode.
But, wait, wait, there"s more to come.
In this episode, we"ll watch Farrah push her skintight attire to the limits and Tyler"s mom wax poetic on the merits of psychotropics. Can"t wait to find out just how snarky we got? Read on.
You are watching: Teen mom 2 season 7 episode 9
Farrah"s still in Italy, which means all of the local prostitutes got a real schooling on how we do it in America. We"re impressed with the confidence with which Farrah parades around in her oh so tight dresses around Sophia but then again, I guess once you become a teen mom the ideal of being a role model for your daughter goes right out the window.
Farrah is making sure to do as much splitting of her family as possible, so she"s siphoned off Sophia and Michael for a day of creating clay models.
Farrah enjoys taking a private walk with her father while she explains exactly how much she plans to control his engagement to Amy - sheesh, you"d have thought that Farrah was getting engaged to Amy.
Michael listens with a sheepish smile.
Later, the most dysfunctional family in the world, with Farrah, her mother, father, Sophia and Amy all set out to spend time on a boat for the day. Debs gets to find out that Michael is proposing to Amy.
You can see Farrah really relishing the moment where she tells her mom that the man who broke her heart is now moving on with another woman.
Is it just us or does it seem like Michael keeps trying to get as close to Farrah"s boobs on this episode as possible with a number of gratuitous hugs?
Michael is going to propose to Amy while the rest of the family watches from afar.
This is Farrah"s way of using a supposed beautiful surprise as a way to get back at her mother because there is nothing like watching your ex propose to someone else.
Later, Debs congratulates Michael and Amy which is really quite sweet. Sadly, Farrah has to take the moment and try to stick it to her mother by telling her how happy she is that Dr. David isn"t there.
Oh boy, her we go. Watching Farrah have her viper moments is beginning to be frightening. Debs responds with her typical serenity and tries to validate her telling her she just loves her and Sophia.
Maci and Tyler are busy caring for their daycare of children while they pontificate on what to do for their anniversary.
Tyler announces that he"s "never made it this far with anyone else." That"s because you"re on Season 9 of Teen Mom OG - once this is off air, it"s "skeedle dee dee" and away with ya!
Because of their anniversary, Maci takes their wedding cake topper out of the freezer. Gawd, these two have only been married one year and they already produced enough children to rival the Duggars.
Maci and Taylor take their private car/limo to the local pub where they proceed to discuss Maci"s recent miscarriage with what seems to be a SERIOUS amount of awkwardness.
As if the entire scene was rehearsed and staged or something.
Catelynn got her IUD out and is oh so excited to surprise him when they get pregnant. The surprise will be all of your future psychiatric admissions, honey. Tyler has a talk with his mom who comes over so that Tyler and Catelynn have something to film now that Carly"s parents have limited further TV filming of their already exploited child. Tyler talks to his mom about how he refuses to take sleeping meds to get some rest at night.
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Apparently, avoiding medication is common sense, because, sure, how could you brain not get jacked up by taking something that you"re body is supposed to supply on it"s own. If that"s not a dead give away that this kid is a high school drop out, we don"t know what is.
We would JUST love to see Tyler facing off with a Nobel prize winning physician.
It would be like seeing a prize hog face off with a rat.
"Just, step." Of course, Tyler is also the kid who probably experimented with A LOT of drugs and alcohol in high school but taking a sleep med, naw, that"s not natural.
Tyler feels he can"t get treatment for himself since he"s sooooo busy "planning this company." Yeah, serving as a figurehead for the work of others is A LOOOOOT of work.
Amber is checking out wedding venues in Hawaii. We love seeing Amber happy. In the last episode"s shocker, Amber revealed she"s pregnant.
She also talks to the producer about this bombshell and how everything went down. Typical Amber. Nothing like a baby to spell success for your relationship of all of 3 months!
Maci calls Amber and finds out that she"s pregnant. Maci seems secretly jealous right there, did you miss that moment where it showed in her eyes. Yep, we guessed it.
She is. She had to bring up her pregnancy with Jade.
You can just see her thinking in her head, "Booooo, now all of the attention is gonna be on Amber." Sure enough, Maci has to trot over to Taylor and tell him that Amber is pregnant.
You can tell this is the lead up to the two of these dolts asking each other if they should continue to reproduce.
Back in the land of Gary"s chins, Leah asks her stepmother who her favorite child is. Sometime we look at Leah and wonder how she wound up so gosh darn gorgeous given that the gene pool that went into her was pretty darn lacking. In any case, Gary manages to do EXACTLY what no parent SHOULD EVER DO and tells Leah that Amy is his favorite.
OMG. Yes, he just did that.
As if this show didn"t have enough examples of why you should NEVER had a child as a teenager. He went ahead and told Leah that she "had her chance to be his favorite, remember?"
In Hawaii, one of the producers approaches Andrew to try to stir up shit and gets him to admit how shocking it is that Amber is already pregnant.
Listen, this guy knew exactly what he was getting into when he decided to date a borderline who was able to beat the shit out of her 300 lb boyfriend.
Later, the producers try the same shit with Amber, getting her to explain why and how she went off her meds. Amber doesn"t bite and reports that love will cure everything y"all.
Amber and Andrew also air out their worries with having a baby so early on in their relationship. For some reason, Amber decides to warn Andrew.
Honey, the prior seasons of this show were warning enough. Then again, this guys looks a lazy. He"s probably looking for the cliffnotes to the first few seasons.
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Stay tuned for next time!
Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: Teen Mom OG, Season 8, Reunion Part 1: Maci Tries to Stay Relevant (more); Teen Mlom OG Season 8, Ep;isode 11: Who Breaks First? Maci or Amber? (more); Teen Mom OG Season 8, Episode 5: Who"s Having a Baby Now? (more); Ryan"s Behavior in Jail Will Shock You (more).