You are watching: The office season 5 episode 27 5.44 min quote
1. Season 1, episode 1: "Pilot".
"I guess: v the atmosphere that I"ve tried to produce here is that I"m a friend very first and a boss second, and also probably an entertainer third." --Michael Scott
2. Season 1, illustration 2: "Diversity Day".
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"Abraham Lincoln as soon as said that "If you"re a racist, ns will strike you through the North" and these space the principles I bring with me in the workplace."—Michael Scott
3. Season 1, illustration 3: "Health Care".
"And uh, well, if this to be my career, I"d need to throw myself in former of a train."—Jim Halpert
4. Season 1, episode 4: "The Alliance".
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"I"m do the efforts to create something funny here, what am i going to do with a removed uterus?" —Michael Scott
5. Season 1, episode 5: "Basketball".
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"God, this is so sad, this is the the smallest amount of power I"ve ever seen walk to someone"s head." —Jim Halpert
6. Season 1, illustration 6: "Hot Girl".
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"The purse girl hits every little thing on my checklist: creamy skin, directly teeth, curly hair, remarkable breasts... Not for me, because that my children." —Dwight Schrute
7. Season 2, illustration 1: "The Dundies".
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8. Season 2, episode 2: "Sexual Harassment".
"You wouldn"t arrest the man who was simply passing medicine from one man to another." —Michael Scott
9. Season 2, illustration 3: "Office Olympics".
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"This fragrant candle...andle...andle, that I uncovered in the men"s bathroom...room...room, to represent the eternal burning of competition... Or something." —Jim Halpert
10. Season 2, illustration 4: "The Fire".
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"Ryan began the fire, the was always burning because the civilization was turning!" —Dwight Schrute
11. Season 2, episode 5: "Halloween".
"I"m guessing Angela is the one in the ar that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes." —Pam Beesly
12. Season 2, illustration 6: "The Fight".
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"I want people to be fear of exactly how much they love me." —Michael Scott
13. Season 2, episode 7: "The Client".
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"Chili"s is the brand-new golf course, it"s where business happens." —Michael Scott
14. Season 2, episode 8: "Performance Review".
"Well, last year my performance began with Michael asking me what mine hopes and dreams were, and ended with him telling me he might bench push 190 pounds." —Pam Beesly
15. Season 2, illustration 9: "Email Surveillance".
"I would not miss out on it because that the world, however if something else came up, i would definitely not go." —Michael Scott
16. Season 2, episode 10: "Christmas Party".
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"Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry her party"s so lame." —Michael Scott
17. Season 2, episode 11: "Booze Cruise".
"The native "ship" is surprise in side the word "leadership," as its... Derivation." —Michael Scott
18. Season 2, episode 12: "The Injury".
"Today I acquired up, i stepped top top the grill and it clamped down on my foot." —Michael Scott
19. Season 2, episode 13: "The Secret".
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"I will have a chicken breast, host the chicken." —Michael Scott
20. Season 2, illustration 14: "The Carpet".
"I swore to myself if I ever got to walk about the room together manager, human being would laugh as they saw me coming, and also they"d applaud as I go away." —Michael Scott
21. Season 2, episode 15: "Boys and Girls".
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"Why does culture force united state to usage urinals once sitting under is far an ext comfortable?" —Michael Scott
22. Season 2, episode 16: "Valentine"s Day".
"You can"t fire me just due to the fact that Michael isn"t here, Dwight." —Pam Beesly
23. Season 2, illustration 17: "Dwight"s Speech".
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"I deserve to travel anywhere, other than Cuba, and also I will take trip to brand-new Zealand and walk the mr of the ring trail to Mordor and I will hike mountain Doom." —Dwight Schrute
24. Season 2, illustration 18: "Take your Daughter to work Day".
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"Jesus can come v that door, he"s not going to assist you, if you don"t protect against sniffing after mine child!" —Stanley Hudson
25. Season 2, episode 19: "Michael"s Birthday".
"It is 11:23 exactly, the specific moment, when you emerged from her mother"s quality canal." —Dwight Schrute
26. Season 2, episode 20: "Drug Testing".
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"This year, much more people will usage cocaine than will read a book to your children." —Michael Scott
27. Season 2, episode 21: "Conflict Resolution".
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"I sat at my workdesk all day with a rifle the shoots potatoes at sixty pounds every square inch." —Dwight Schrute
28. Season 2, illustration 22: "Casino Night".
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"Thanks, I"ve never ever owned a frozen fridge before." —Creed Bratton
29. Season 3, episode 1: "Gay Witch Hunt".
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"Jim called me you might buy gay-dar online." –Dwight Schrute
30. Season 3, episode 2: "The Convention".
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"Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong v the record industry." –Michael Scott
31. Season 3, illustration 3: "The Coup".
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"I know that patience and loyalty are good and building traits however sometimes I simply think you need to grow a pair." –Angela Martin
32. Season 3, episode 4: "Grief Counseling".
"He"s perfect work, he"s on his means home, WHAM, his cappa is detated native his head!" –Michael Scott
33. Season 3, episode 5: "Initiation".
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"Jan offered to treat Michael favor he was a ten-year-old, but lately, it"s choose he"s five." –Pam Beesly
34. Season 3, illustration 6: "Diwali".
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"Lot of gods with unpronouncable names, twenty minutes later, you uncover out the it is essentially a Hindu Halloween." –Michael Scott
35. Season 3, episode 7: "Branch Closing".
"The CFO is acquisition away my house and also giving it to Josh and Josh is offering away the garage come Bob Vance." –Michael Scott
36. Season 3, illustration 8: "The Merger".
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"Dwight might have won the battle, but I will win...the next battle." –Andy Bernard
37. Season 3, illustration 9: "The Convict".
"The worst thing about prison to be the dementors." –Michael Scott
38. Season 3, episode 10: "A Benihana Christmas".
"It"s a bold relocate to photoshop yourself right into a photo with her girlfriend and her children on a ski trip with their real father." –Jim Halpert
39. Season 3 , episode 11: "Back from Vacation".
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"The Jamaicans don"t have a word because that "impossible."" –Michael Scott
40. Season 3, illustration 12: "Traveling Salesman".
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"You understand what castle say, silly me once, strike one, however fool me twice... Win three." –Michael Scott
41. Season 3, illustration 13: "The Return".
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"I am prepared to face any type of challenges that can be foolish enough to confront me." –Dwight Schrute
42. Season 3, illustration 14: "Ben Franklin".
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"Mr. Franklin, I would certainly say girlfriend are more than likely one of the sexiest presidents ever." –Michael Scott
43. Season 3, episode 15: "Phyllis"s Wedding".
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" It"s a large day for Phyllis, yet it"s an also bigger day because that me, employee of the bride." –Michael Scott
44. Season 3, illustration 16: "Business School".
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"Whenever I"m about to execute something, ns think, "Would an idiot do that?" and also if they would, I carry out not carry out that thing." –Dwight Schrute
45. Season 3, illustration 17: "Cocktails".
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"Early worm it s okay the.. Worm." –Michael Scott
46. Season 3, episode 18: "The Negotiation".
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"So ns don"t think that this is totally just a women"s suit, in ~ the really least it"s bisexual." –Michael Scott
47. Season 3, illustration 19: "Safety Training".
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"Dwight girlfriend ignorant slut!" –Michael Scott
48. Season 3, episode 20: "Product Recall".
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"Identity theft is no a joke, Jim!" –Dwight Schrute
49. Season 3, illustration 21: "Women"s Appreciation".
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"Sometimes the clothing at GAP kids are just too flashy therefore I"m forced to go to the American Girl Store and order clothing for large, early american dolls." –Angela Martin
50. Season 3, illustration 22: "Beach Games".
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"About fourty times a year, Michael gets yes, really sick however has no symptoms." –Pam Beesly
51. Season 3, illustration 23: "The Job".
"Daddy is Meryl Streep." –Michael Scott
52. Season 4, episode 1: "Fun Run".
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"One day Michael came in, complaining about a rate bump, on the highway... Ns wonder that he ran over then." —Jim Halpert
53. Season 4, episode 2: "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"
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"Where space the turtles?" —Michael Scott
54. Season 4, episode 3: "Launch Party".
"I walk so well last February that Corporate offered me two plaques in lieu the a salary raise." —Dwight Schrute
55. Season 4, episode 4: "Money".
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"I explain bankruptcy!" —Michael Scott
56. Season 4, episode 5: "Local Ad".
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"I uncover the mystery genre disgusting, I hate being titillated." —Angela Martin
57. Season 4, episode 6: "Branch Wars".
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"The eye space the groin the the head." —Dwight Schrute
58. Season 4, episode 7: "Survivor Man".
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"It"s far better to acquire hurt by who you recognize accidentally climate by a stranger top top purpose." —Dwight Schrute
59. Season 4, episode 8: "The Deposition".
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"You intend to get screwed by her company, but you never ever expect to acquire screwed by your girlfriend." —Michael Scott
60. Season 4, illustration 9: "Dinner Party".
"Good luck payment me ago on your zero dollars a month plus benefits salary, babe!" —Michael Scott
61. Season 4, episode 10: "The Chair Model".
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"Hello Oscar Meyer Wiener -lover." —Michael Scott
62. Season 4, episode 11: "Night Out".
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" oh my God, mommy I"ve gotta go one of my girlfriend is obtaining beat increase by some girls!" —Michael Scott
63. Season 4, episode 12: "Did ns Stutter?".
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"It"s just noise coming the end of one ugly scientist."—Michael Scott
64. Season 4, episode 13: "Job Fair".
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"So, i am around to execute something very bold in this project that I"ve never ever done before: Try." —Jim Halpert
65. Season 4, episode 14: "Goodbye Toby".
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"The 2 levels being, welcome to Scranton and also I love you." —Michael Scott
66. Season 5, episode 1: "Weight Loss: component 1".
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"One an ext bite that eclair each, organize it in your mouth if you can"t gulp down it." —Dwight Schrute
67. Season 5, illustration 2: "Weight Loss: component 2".
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"Pam, will you marry me?" —Jim Halpert
68. Season 5, illustration 3: "Business Ethics".
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"When I uncovered YouTube, ns didn"t job-related for five days." —Michael Scott
69. Season 5, episode 4: "Baby Shower".
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"If a infant were president, there would be no taxes, there would certainly be no war." —Michael Scott
70. Season 5, episode 5: "Crime Aid".
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"So lot for sex without consequences." —Michael Scott
71. Season 5, episode 6: "Employee Transfer".
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"If I had to put Dwight"s chances right into a percentage, I would say he has actually none percent chance." —Andy Bernard
72. Season 5, episode 7: "Customer Survey".
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"Buttlicker, our prices have actually never been lower!" —Dwight Schrute
73. Season 5, episode 8: "Business Trip".
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"A concierge is the Winnipeg tantamount of a geisha." —Michael Scott
74. Season 5, episode 9: "Frame Toby".
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"Since when is the illegal to placed caprese salad anywhere?"—Michael Scott
75. Season 5, episode 10: "The Surplus".
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"Look, i really require this brand-new chair. I mean, seriously, how is it possible that in 5 years I"ve had actually two engagement rings, and also only one chair?" —Pam Beesly
76. Season 5, episode 11: "Moroccan Christmas".
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"What is walk to happen when girlfriend come into work and also you"re dead?" —Michael Scott
77. Season 5, illustration 12: "The Duel".
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"Rule 17: Don"t turn your ago on bears, men you have wronged, or the leading turkey throughout mating season."—Dwight Schrute
78. Season 5, illustration 13: "Prince household Paper".
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"A painting, have the right to be beautiful, but I don"t desire to bang a painting." —Kevin Malone
79. Season 5, episode 14: "Stress Relief: component 1".
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"You are black, Stanley!" —Michael Scott
80. Season 5, episode 15: "Stress Relief: component 2".
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"Stanley, friend crush your wife during sex and also your love sucks." —Michael Scott
81. Season 5, episode 16: "Lecture Circuit: part 1".
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"Fortunately mine feelings regenerate at double the speed of a regular man"s." —Dwight Schrute
82. Season 5, episode 17: "Lecture Circuit: component 2".
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"Jabba the Hut, Pizza the Hut, fat males like pizza, pepperoni pizza-- pepperoni Tony!" —Michael Scott
83. Season 5, episode 18: "Blood Drive".
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"Feel a tiny lopsided becasue of all the blood castle took out of my ideal side." —Dwight Schrute
84. Season 5, episode 19: "Golden Ticket".
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"Put your heart out there like that, it"s responsible to simply turn into this blackened carbon brick whereby it has actually barbecue sauce the shame and also rage and also two hot human being with a perfect partnership would not know that!" —Andy Bernard
85. Season 5, episode 20: "New Boss".
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"Truth be told, ns think I prosper under a absence of accountability." —Michael Scott
86. Season 5, illustration 21: "Two Weeks".
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"Any really good headhunter will storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off her head through a ceremonial knife." —Dwight Schrute
87. Season 5, illustration 22: "Dream Team".
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"I mean I"ve always subscribed to the idea that if friend really desire to impress your boss, you go in there and also you execute mediocre work, half-heatedly." —Jim Halpert
88. Season 5, episode 23: "The Michael Scott document Company".
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"When I observed you talk to Erin earlier, i noticed the your student dilated and your skin flushed and also I"m assuming, a tiny bit the blood rushed into your penis." —Dwight Schrute
89. Season 5, illustration 24: "Heavy Competition".
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"IT"s prefer a girl states she"ll make out through you but then her friend is waiting approximately the corner with a pee-filled balloon." —Michael Scott
See more: Which One Of The Following Is Not One Of The Principles Of Managing Accounts Receivable?
90. Season 5, episode 25: "Broke".
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"Ever due to the fact that I"ve gained clean there"s something about fresh morning wait that... Just really renders me sick." —Ryan Howard
